Somewhere In Between "It's Probably Stress" and "That's Completely Normal"
Because "It's Probably Nothing" Isn't Good Enough.
Somewhere in between “it’s probably stress” and “that’s completely normal,” so many women get left without knowing where to turn for their own healthcare.
On Thursday, when I sat down at a corporate networking lunch, the woman next to me asked me what I do. When I told her I work in women’s health, she immediately launched into her health journey. Full of many “sorry this is TMI, but” interjections (note: it wasn’t TMI) her story was a multi-year, winding, twisting tale of countless appointments across hospitals, clinics, specialists… years of pain, shock that she was walking, and most importantly, still no answers. Then, she had to leave early. She had a doctor’s appointment to get to.
I hear this story all the time. The moment I mention I work in women’s health, people respond with their own frustrating healthcare journeys… or their friends’ or families’ stories. Women live longer than men, but spend 25% more of that lifetime in poor health. And they’re making 80% of healthcare decisions while they’re living in it.
I’m not a doctor. So why do I hear these stories so often? Because, SO many women have had these experiences. And when they hear I work in women’s health, they see me as a safe space to share their story and their frustration. I both love and hate hearing these stories. Hate that they happen. Love that I can listen, validate what they are going through… and then add them to my ever-growing list of things we need to change in healthcare.
Women are busy. They’re taking care of everyone around them, their families, their jobs, their households, the full mental load. Their own health often gets a back seat.
When they finally pay attention to their symptoms, when they take note of that bothersome feeling that something isn’t quite right, or when the symptom is too loud to constantly put on the backburner, they deserve to be heard. Frankly, that’s the lowest bar. They deserve to be heard and treated before any of that happens.
But how many women hear “it’s just psychological” or “it’s normal” when describing their symptoms? When you get a cut, it’s normal for it to bleed, but that doesn’t mean you don’t put a bandage on it! Medical gaslighting to say that a symptom is “just in your head” is on yet another level of frustration.
Women were not required to be included in clinical trials until 1993. Research on women is far behind. It’s catching up, but slowly. The information that exists is buried in research papers, specialists’ offices, clinical studies. It’s hard to find. Plus, women are usually searching for it once symptoms are already demanding to be heard.
Fixing this is a multi-year, multi-pronged approach with investment, policy, research, advocacy, and many people working on it. We also need structural societal changes.
Right now, today, what changes the game for individual women is the ability to advocate for themselves. To advocate, you need information. Working in this space, meeting with doctors who are actively bettering women’s health all the time, constantly learning about different gaps in healthcare for women, and collecting all those stories… gathering information is what I do.
Somewhere between “it’s probably stress” and “that’s completely normal” is the truth about your health. That’s what we’re here for. And keep sharing your stories.